When you’ve run out of ideas for blockchain projects, and can’t quite get a grip on ICO, you can always turn to trust asset management‐ managing someone else’s assets, of course. You just slap together a landing page, draw up a bitcoin schedule beginning last September, call it a profit schedule, and proudly call yourself a crypto fund‐ you’re open for business. Now all you have to do is find some buffoon to send you his money.
One of these “crypto funds” is Cryptomix, which was created by two respectable businessmen. The first, Sergey Suslikov, is a “web promotions specialist”. There is only one Sergey Suslikov on all of LinkedIn with that specialty‐ a “promotion specialist at BMS LLC” (that is the first, and only, workplace our hero has listed on his profile). What excactly is “BMS LLC”? Unfortunately, we were not able to figure that out‐ the Russian market is overflowing with companies named “BMS”, each one as dull as the last.
The second “founding partner” is Evgeniy Trishin, who proudly refers to himself as a “specialist in technical analysis and creating algorithmic trading systems”. At “Finam”, where our hero worked up until the minute he founded his own crypto fund, he “built algorithmic trading structures” in the customer service department (i.e., he worked in a call center).
We wouldn’t have given Cryptomix a second thought (you never know what kind of scammers are out there on the crypto market these days), if they had not turned to a highly innovative method for attracting new clients‐ specifically, personal spam messages, to anyone who had even considered crypto, offering to buy tokens from their funds (starting at just $1, don’t miss it!).
Where our heroes excel is in their strategy. What do ordinary scammers do? They collect money, wait until they have managed to rake in a rather princely sum, and then‐ poof! They disappear. But Sergey and Evgeniy are no ordinary scammers‐ after all, they do have to buy something. That is why they declared their fund commission to be just 0.03% per day on the total assets value (a figure which seems small, but runs 10% per year, regardless of whether your assets actually grew or just wasted away), and are now waiting to stockpile a hefty sum, without starving in the process.
But the most absurd of all is the jurisdiction where Cryptomix, the miracle crypto fund, is registered. Care to take a gander as to where? The correct answer is‐ nowhere! The miracle fund’s own website indicates that they do not plan on registering their company until 2019‐ never mind the fact that the founders themselves claim to have been operating since 2017. Fucking Danais.
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